And there's so much where we ain't been yet*

I have this amazing ability to attract weird people to me. It could almost be a talent (if it wasn't so obnoxious).

In college, I used to take the train home, and it was almost always an adventure. Some person would feel compelled to sit with me and spend the hour talking to me. Except, I could never have NORMAL conversations.

One time someone spent an hour telling me that I was too pretty for my own good and someone was going to feel compelled to hurt me. Um thanks? Creepy!  Another time, I listened to a guy tell me about the weird warts on the bottom of his feet and his genitals.  (REALLY???).  Listening to my mp3 player did nothing to deter these people.  In fact one person actually removed my headphones so I couldn't ignore him. 

Or, the time I took a train back to Virginia and there was a really smelly guy sitting next to me telling me that I was obviously meant to be with him forever.  Or the drunk guy that kept trying to give me weed randomly and telling me we should go make out in the bathroom of the train car.

Or the time on the Metro in the DC area where the guy was doing something inappropriate to himself while plastered up against me on the train (it was a full car). 

Or the time I was flying back from Indiana, and the guy sitting next to me kept trying to convince me I should fly on to Florida with him and help him house sit.  And then proceeded to rub my arm, ALL FLIGHT.  And the flight was full and I couldn't move.  And he wasn't being OBVIOUSLY touchy-feely.  He kept playing it off like it was an accident.  But really, it was not. 

Last night, I was in a funk and I went to get some takeout sushi.  While waiting for them to finish my order, I was sitting in the front area of the restaurant.  A guy randomly walked up to me, looked around all kind of furtively, and then pet my head a few times and stroked my arm. 

He looked around again for a few seconds and ran out the door as I just sat there in shock. 

I'm not some freakishly attractive person.  I'm pretty average, so what in the world is wrong with me?  Why do people feel the urge to come up and just be weird around me?  Or as we like to say, why am I flypaper for freaks?  They just come and stick themselves to me.

It's bizarre. 

*Josh Ritter