That girl don't fake it, give her rules she'll break it*

Random thoughts from the weekend that pretty much have nothing to do with each other

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I have been thinking a lot about the relationships in my life lately.  The ones that I am so happy to have back, the ones that have always been there, but now I'm able to see them more, and the ones that make me feel like shit and yet I can't seem to let go.  I'm really bad at letting go.  

I keep thinking, that things will go back to how they were before.  But I know they won't.  And I don't seem to know how to break things off before they blow up in my face.  (Case in point, a few weekends ago, a friend and I had a HORRIBLE break up because I couldn't figure out how to distance myself from them before it got awful).  

Oddly enough, in the midst of all this.  I got a phone call this weekend from the person who has probably hurt me the most in my life.  I was kind of amazed to discover that I really HAVE let them go.  I don't care about them or anything they do (other than feeling sorry for the people they are currently hurting).  I've been wanting them to call for the longest time so I could tell them EVERYTHING I had thought up over the past years about what an awful, weak person they are.  I didn't even care enough anymore to say anything. It's done.  They ARE out of my life, and I didn't even realize it.  

I don't really know where I'm going with this.  At all.  I think I'm just trying to work out in my head what to do about some of my so called friendships that just seem to make me feel like crap.  Is it their fault, is it mine?  And does it really matter either way?

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I went running on the trails when I was in Richmond.  This trail has a really sandy soil base.  It hadn't rained in a while.  It felt like I was running on the beach, it was ridiculously loose sand.  Then, the next day I helped RR move some of her stuff up three flights of stairs (including a ridiculously heavy air conditioner).  I believe she compared me to a pack horse at one time (sadly, this is not the first time the comparison has been made...not exactly flattering).  I also spent approximately 15 hours in a car this weekend.  I am stiff and my calf muscles are KILLING me.

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I went for a run again today.  This was intended to be a "recovery" run.  Fail.

I am an idiot and forgot I basically live at the top of a hill.  I didn't want to drive to the park to go running, so I went running around here.  I had a VERY hilly run (and a very SLOW run).  My calf muscles are still killing me and I'm still insanely stiff.

I used the foam roller after my run today and kind of wanted to cry.  I have two really bad spots on my left leg (outside my calf right below the knee, and my hip flexor) and my right leg is just overall sore.  I don't understand how a piece of foam can be so torturous.

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I am so ready to move.  I'm so sick of the horrible internet here.  I'm so sick of the TV not working anytime it rains (stupid Direct TV).  I'm so sick of not being able to do laundry here b/c people are idiots and don't understand the concept of washing a FULL load at once (really, you don't need to tie up FOUR washers with ONE pair of underwear in each one).  And not understanding that you have to turn ON the dryer for it actually dry.  

People keep telling me that living in a hotel is so freaking sweet and I should be grateful for it and not paying rent.  Yeah, it's sweet.  Until you actually LIVE in a hotel.  I am ready to pay rent again and just have my own place.  I don't care how whiny that sounds.  I'm over this place.  I want to be gone.  

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I'm going camping this weekend, then our family birthday dinner celebration thing, and then CHICAGO (and my birthday)!  My next few weekends are going to rock.  I keep telling myself this so I don't get too grumpy about being here.  

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I think that's probably enough random thoughts.  Hope everyone's weekend rocked.  

*Ben Kweller (love that little man)