Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night*

Man, I'm all about feast or famine over here.  I either post every day of the week, or you're lucky to get ONE post in the week.  

But, I saw an interesting post somewhere the other day (honestly my reader has over 200 subscriptions in it, I can't even remember where I saw it).  And after today, I felt inspired to write something about it.    This post was all about their biggest flaw.  And, I think that's a really interesting topic and I'm going to attempt to do that here.  

However, this is REALLY hard for me, because my biggest flaw is that I am terrible at being open with people.  Don't get me wrong, I have no problem talking about myself, or what I want, to an extent (hello, I have a blog, and I write about stuff all the time).  But I guarantee, there's a lot more going on that I won't even scrape the surface of.  

Today was a great example of this.  JH is one of my BEST friends.  We were roommates for 3 years of college, and she's one of the few people that I still make an effort to keep in my life.  Even when I lived in VA, I would make sure I made an effort to see her when I was home for holidays, and I know she feels the same way.  

However, I was talking about someone I used to date in VA, and she had no idea who I was talking about.  And it has NOTHING to do with her being a bad friend, and not remembering the guys I dated. It was because I never told her about him.  I dated the kid for four months (which while not exactly a world record for dating, should probably have been significant enough to MENTION), and I never told anyone about him until AFTER we broke up.

Or, the last guy I dated.  There's the real break up story, and the one that I told most people.  I lied to two of my favorite people and told them the "not real" story, because it was just easier to tell at the time.  (Nope, still not going to tell you guys the real story :-P  Guess that's a fail at being open).  I did eventually tell them the real story (although, one of them only heard the corrected version today, so still not exactly a win at the whole open and honest communication).  

So, I hurt my friend's feelings because I hate opening up to people.  And I had to explain, that no, it's not personally against you.  I trust you, I like you, I just...don't talk about stuff.  (And I know that my sisters don't understand why I'm like this either).  

And it's not just about guys I'm dating (I do this with SO MANY THINGS), it was just an easy example to give, since the conversation happened today.  

I have no idea if this is making any sense.  

And seriously, the irony of this post is killing me.  Do you realize how hard it is to be open about how you're NOT AN OPEN PERSON!  Pulling out my fingernails would almost be more pleasant than this  (and it's not like I'm exposing any big secret here or anything, so really, I shouldn't feel this awkward). 

But anyways, while this is in no way my only flaw, I do think that this is my biggest flaw, or at least the  flaw with the most potential to hurt others, and I need to work on it (and probably the hardest thing to write about for me).  

So, any questions?  :-P

*Journey